Welp. It's Finally Happening...The Rapture is Coming to Vegas

NBC NEWS:

Fire crews in Nevada battled two large wildfires Tuesday, one blazing through a mountain area northwest of Las Vegas that billowed smoke that could be seen from the famous Strip, and another raging near Reno.

A force of more than 800 firefighters and other personnel were working to protect homes and a recreation area from the Carpenter 1 fire, burning on the landmark peak Mount Charleston, 35 miles northwest of Las Vegas.

Kind of saw this coming.  After years of gambling beyond their means, banging prostitutes, blowing coke off tits at the Spearmint Rhino, sucking dicks in elevators, engaging in copious amounts of illicit drugs, drunkenly grabbing strangers' body parts, cheating on their spouses, selling their children into sex slavery, and generally disregarding all rules of human decency; the patrons of Las Vegas are set to meet their doom.  Fuck James Franco's house party.  THIS is The End.  I'm not entirely sure how I've managed to be spared, but I'm definitely on the lookout for a free trip to Vegas this week. Based on my own Vegas visits I am certain myself and many friends and stoolies alike will be pulled uncontrollably to Vegas in the next few days.

PS--I'll tell you who truly deserves to burn in hell for eternity out there--any parent who brings their kids to the pool at the Hard Rock or the Cosmopolitan.  Absolute sickos.  Dudes are literally penetrating sluts in the shallow end while these parents let Johnny and Jane play Marco Polo in their swimmies.