Canberra doctors removed a 10-centimetre fork from inside an elderly man's penis after a bizarre sexual mishap.
The 70-year-old arrived at the Canberra Hospital emergency department with a bleeding sexual organ.
He told doctors he had inserted the 10cm dining fork into his urethra almost 12 hours earlier in an attempt to achieve sexual gratification.
But the utensil became stuck.
The fork was not visible but doctors were able to feel it from the outside and X-rays showed its position.
Doctors considered several retrieval options before deciding to pull the fork free using forceps and "copious lubrication" while the patient was under a general anaesthetic.
The elderly patient was then sent home.
The medical emergency was so rare the team of three doctors published the case in The International Journal of Surgery last month.
Is this what we all have to look forward to? After years and years of masturbation are you just so numb to the likes of Tori Black that you resort to shoving kitchen utensils IN YOUR DICK!? WTF.....If things are boring for me, I think about pulling up a chubby chick video or maybe search for "Mature Homemade." Never once crossed my mind to take a break from my dinner and shove the fork into my urethra.  
What's really most disturbing about this story is that the fork wasn't even visible.  Looking at the picture, this guy got a solid eight inches inside his body. Wow. Just wow.
PS--I once came across a video where a girl was giving a blow job and proceeded to put her nipple into the guy's piss hole. I was so confused, I spent the next month trying to find out more.  All I came across were some disturbing posts by some disturbing people and the occasional disturbing video.