This Jonathan Cheban Story Really Didn't Go as I Wish it Had

Kim Kardashian's BFF Jonathan Cheban boasts about $500K watch on Instagram... then a thief tries to steal it from his wrist

Jonathan was very friendly. But then the guy grabbed Jonathan . . . and tried to steal his half-million-dollar watch! Jonathan fought back to stop him, and he pushed Jonathan to the floor,' the insider said.

A security guard intervened and the would-be robber escaped without the watch.

Jonathan didn't file a police report because he was on a tight schedule, a friend of his said.

'He left the Hamptons. He was there for a private event. He was only [in town] for three hours. Disaster,' his friend said.

Jonathan had to go to Europe and didn't want to deal with police reports, the friend said.

Well God Damn it.  I saw this headline and I was SUPER pumped to read on.  I couldn't wait to blog about what a dbag Cheban is and how he got what was coming to him when he eviscerated the record for douchiness with his #RichKidsofInstagram tweet (isn't this dude like 40? Should he be calling himself a kid even?).

Unfortunately, the details of this story didn't go my way.  The "thief" only managed to grab Funboy's wrist and push him to the ground, and never even got close to stealing the watch.  What's worse, Captain Ankle Grabber flipped the script and pulled a pimp-ass, "Fuck You" money move, saying he wasn't gonna file a police report cause he was leaving for Europe in a few hours.  Really? How am I supposed to hate on The Down Syndrome Version of Scott Disick when he's flashing $500k dollar watches, flying to the Hamptons just for lunch and not filing police reports because he's jetting off for Europe? Frankly, I can't.  You win this one Cheban.

PS--I'll bet Cheban has dressed up as an Avatar every Halloween since the movie came out.  Not sure why, I just know it.